Distancing #1: Losing my job and abandoning anxiety

We are all navigating a ‘new normal’. Like many, I don’t know how to process it — I can only write. Writing has always been cathartic for me, and so I am going to share a new series called Distancing. These blogs will be short notes, mostly taken from journal entries, and shared here. I hope you’re all taking care and following government guidelines.

The last time I blogged here, things in Scotland were ‘normal’. I’d started to get anxious reading the headlines, but life went on — commute, work, nights out…

Since then, my individual anxiety seems to have turned into nationwide panic.

Because of this I’d deliberately taken a step back from being online; I had nothing to say and, like a lot of people, was struggling with anxiety from the torrent of bad news. But then I received some bad news of my own.

I was told that my contract was unlikely to be renewed at the end of this month. So, come the start of April — and the predicated height of this crisis in the United Kingdom — I’ll be unemployed.

No, I am not sharing this as a woe-is-me thing. I am well aware that there are many, many people in this country who are far worse off than I am. I’m sharing this because, despite how hard it is, it actually gave me a kick up the arse. I want to share it here in case anyone is in the same position — contrary to what you see on social media, life in the time of global pandemic can be exceedingly shit and very ungrammable.

I needed that kick up the arse. Although I saw the bad news coming (a worldwide economic crash is a bit of a hint) I realised I had spent a week struggling with anxiety due to this whole unprecedented situation — and feeling that way just wasn’t sustainable long-term. And we’re in this long term, unfortunately.

So I decided that night that I was done with anxiety. I’m finished with being panicked, powerless, petrified. Getting that job news brought home to me that the only things we have the power to control (however difficult that can be) are our own reactions, and actions.

And another thing — I have my words. I am still journalling my way through this and I will share more here. I still have a voice. We all do. We must use it.

We must choose to be positive and stay safe, because that is all we can do.

Look after each other. Check in with people who you care about, even if you haven’t spoken to them in years.

Fight for your rights, and that of other people. Sign petitions to make action happen.

And things will be easier for everyone if we are compassionate towards each other, rather than tearing toilet paper from each others’ trolleys in the bare aisles of our local supermarkets.

In the meantime, take great care.

5 thoughts on “Distancing #1: Losing my job and abandoning anxiety

  1. Sorry to hear of your predicament, have been worried daft myself – but the property industry is still ticking over for the moment. I read a blog that spoke of 5 benefits – 2 of which really interested #1 me a reduction in pollution (the pollution map of China before and after CV is amazing) and #2 a huge burst in creativity. Also the possibility of thinking things through – so I am a little like you trying to accept things and hope to use the time creatively.

    1. Hi Scott! Thanks for your lovely message, it’s much appreciated. Sorry to hear you’ve been worried as well. How are things your way now? Thanks for sharing those positives as well. Those are the things that keep me going through all of this, and seeing nature still doing its thing is a big boost as well. Hope you’ve had a good weekend! Keep being creative 🙂

    1. Hi Laura! Thank you for that kind comment, it’s much appreciated. How are you? Hope you’re taking care through this challenging period. The sun is shining here, hope it is with you too 🙂

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